By this time, most of you are well on your way to setting your New Year’s resolution and goals for 2014. I for one am big on planning and setting goals, but this year I discovered something that I thought was just genius and may be the ticket that actually guarantees that you strive for the right goals and ones that you will actually enjoy pursuing.
I love sharing with my readers great information that I know will truly transform your life and this is no different. So, what is this new method I’m talking about? Well, it’s from another great teacher of mine Danielle Laporte.
Danielle created something called The Desire Map (which is also a book that was just re-launched and which also happened to be this month’s Stuff We Love feature).
The desire map’s core concept is that, because we set a goal in order to feel a certain way, we need to start from there (the feeling place).
“You're not chasing the goal itself; you're actually chasing the feeling that you hope achieving that goal will give you.”
She calls these feelings, your core desired feeling. When we take this approach, we then set our goals based on how we want to feel. If you take a look at goals you’ve set for yourself in the past, if asked, “why did you want it”, it really boils down to a feeling.
Let’s take a goal to lose let’s say 20lbs. It really isn’t just about the number 20, but really about how losing 20lbs would make you feel: the desire to feel fit, strong, healthy, confident, and sexy. That’s the goal you’re really going after, not just the number on the scale. So, before you set your resolutions and goals this year, it is critical to establish your core desire feelings first!
This year, my biggest focus is on my core desire feelings. My specific tangible goals, which are important to have, is now based on my core desired feeling not the other way around. So many times, we subscribe to society’s definition of success and achievement, and then we strive to reach it, even though reaching it does not evoke the feeling of success to us!
You need to understand what success feels like for you, and then align your goals to those feelings. If we take the example of losing 20lbs, and focused on the core desire feelings of being strong, fit, confident, and sexy, you can set goals to strength train and work out 3-5x/week, because that's what it will take to feel that way versus just having a goal to lose 20lbs. Even buying that cute little black dress that hugs all the right places will give you the same feeling! How great is that?!
Another great thing about this is that it allows you to evaluate opportunities that come up through the year. So many times we lose focus on our goals or have the “shiny object” syndrome. However, if you have something to compare the opportunities against, it makes it much easier to decide what is best for you. You are then able to make decisions that are aligned to your values and missions.
When you're clear on your core desired feelings, you become an “intentional creator” of your life as Danielle puts it. As we all know, we start of the year with great intentions. However, along the way, we may hit some roadblocks.
When we focus on our core desires, we are able to recognize when we’re not on it. We can’t control what happens, but we can control our reaction and experience of what happens. Focusing on your core desires allows you in those moments to take back your control and ask yourself; “what can I do to generate my core desire feelings”. This allows you to not be a victim to your circumstances.
Check out my two of my favourite gals in this video (Marie Forleo and Danielle Laporte) talking about the steps to match your goals to your core desired feelings here.
So when setting your goals this year, be clear on why your setting your goals and look to match them to your soul’s desires.
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