My honest answer to a powerful question about failure

So recently, I had the pleasure of speaking at a corporate International Women’s Day event last month (why does it feel like ages ago lol), and I’m so grateful my talk landed so powerfully with everyone. We actually ran out of time for the audience Q&A!

To keep the conversation going, I invited the organizers to send any remaining questions to me afterward. One of the questions that came in was such a good one, I felt called to share it with you too. The person asked:

“Have you ever failed at trying something? How did you pick yourself up and build your confidence to try again?”

My answer? 

Absolutely!

Honestly, I 'fail' daily in some way or another. Whether it’s not completing a task I set out to do or launching something that didn’t get the response I'd hoped for.

What’s shifted everything for me is how I reframe 'failure'. I’ve learned to see it as feedback and a lesson. 

Let’s say a program doesn’t perform the way I expected. Instead of taking that personally and letting it knock my confidence, I get curious and ask:

 Was my marketing off?

 Did I speak to the wrong audience?

 Was the timing just not right? 

None of that means I failed. It simply means I have information now that I didn’t have before.

Here’s what’s important: Your self-worth is not tied to your results.

When you tie your identity to outcomes, you create this inner narrative that says, “See? I knew I wasn’t good enough.” 

And when that belief gets reinforced, it can trigger a freeze response that keeps you stuck. You stop showing up, lose confidence and stop trusting yourself.

But once you see that cycle, you can break it.

In the beginning, it was hard for me. Having support made a huge difference. So did journaling through the discomfort and affirming the results I do want to see.

So yes, I fail... All. The. Damn. Time!

But I keep going because I no longer make failure mean something about who I am.

Because failure isn’t defining you, it’s refining you into the next version of who you're becoming.

So tell me,... what’s one lesson 'failure' has taught you?